I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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