Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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