it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
All the doctor said was why
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
