So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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