Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
