ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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