He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
