Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
