So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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