I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize