i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
