my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize