The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
