just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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