yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
