I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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