A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
