Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
