it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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