Who wears a wallet chain?!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
