sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
