She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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