Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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