For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize