I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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