Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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