Where is the hickey?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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