This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize