Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
