yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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