well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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