This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
pray to the hookup gods
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
