Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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