I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
