just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
