But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
