I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
