everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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