lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
