his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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