i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
