we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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