I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
home. puking in laundry basket.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
