Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize