I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
