I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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