even my farts smell like vagina
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
