Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize