$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
