they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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