i don't like sucking hair
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
