i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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