If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
