oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
