my mouth tastes like poor choices
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
