i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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