3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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