I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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