like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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