I've blown a few things in my day
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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