I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
