Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
