Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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