is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
