do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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