Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
